Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
