Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
operation have a gay friend backfired
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
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Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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