does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
