Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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