I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
