Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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