I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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