Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
