She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
