if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
