it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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