you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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