They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
