she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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