it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
