would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
