Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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