Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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