Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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