How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
