Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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