What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
