i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
