Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
