I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
try to milk me bitch
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