i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
