If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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