Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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