I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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