Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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