He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
