The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
