Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
