No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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