I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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