Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize