Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
