when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize