Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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