dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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