Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
