I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
