you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
did you just send me my own nude
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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