office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
even my farts smell like vagina
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
