Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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