when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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