Whod you bang
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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