we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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