He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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