i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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