So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
