Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize