If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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