Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Randomize
