Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize