UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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