You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
