she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
