Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize