Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
